They are Both Affected
by MiyuSawa0218
Summary: Miyuki Kazuya cant help but to go back on doing his horrible habit of him which is hurting himself. Like before, Sawamura Eijun was alway there for him. But what if he found out that the younger teen was hiding something from him and couldn't help but to blame himself. After all, they are both affected by it.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I didn't own Diamond no Ace. If I were… MiyuSawa will be canon.  
Warning: I'm not good in writing so please I accept constructive criticism. OH, English is not my first language. Self-harmed and phobias.

I almost forgot, this is my first DnA fanfic. Please Review!

* * *

"Kazuya…"

The catcher's eyes widened with the realization that someone managed to slip into his room without him noticing it. He was sure that the door was locked earlier. He made sure of that to avoid being interrupted in the middle of what he was doing. How can he missed the light flowing in from the outside? The sharp metal thing between his fingers slid down and clattered on the wooden floor along with a few droplets of the familiar red body fluid. The sound of metal hitting the floor shook him out of his stunned state.

He done it again.

The bespectacled boy promised not to do this again and yet here he was, standing near his own self-made puddle of blood. With the light from the opened door, he could see clearly that the crimson liquid that soaked his floor was reflecting something. He could see his face clearly and he was disgusted by it. He shut his eyes tightly and hid his left arm behind him to conceal it from the person who trespassed his room.

 _Just go away from me. I'm ashamed of myself._

He held his tongue, wasn't sure what to say and wait for the other to scream and slap him on the face for doing this sick habit of him again after that person asked, _begged_ for him to stop.

Everyone thought of him as an ideal student and a baseball player.  
Everyone respected him for being the captain and a catcher.  
Everyone acknowledged him as important member of the team.  
But in the end, everyone hated him as a person.

Always trying his best to meet their expectation of him as the team captain but what he received in return was far from what he wanted. He wanted to feel like he belongs not as team member but as him, Miyuki Kazuya. Funnily, even he wanted that, he never really made any effort for them to understand his needs. They treat him like a crap in return he treats them like a crap too. Messing up with anyone who tried to make fun of him became his hobby. He couldn't blame them for hating him because even the catcher himself can't accept himself.

A bitter smile made its way to his already chapped lips. Busy with his thought, the sound of door being closed and locked in front him didn't stirred him.

"Kazuya…" the voice called again his name with gentleness. He can't help but to open his eyes.

 _Please, just go away…_

Eijun offered his hand to him; his face was surprisingly serene at the moment. The younger one didn't wait for his upperclassman to grab his hand instead he held him and guided him towards the catcher's bed. He chose not to raise any question regarding about the current situation and not planning to ask in the future. The only thing he wanted to do right now was to help Kazuya.

The pitcher walked away from the other after telling him that he would be back after he retrieve the first aid kit that Miyuki owned, he already knew where was it located after many times he cleaned the wounds of his battery partner. As the pitcher got what he wanted his feet guided him back at the heel of the bed.

"This will stink a bit." Eijun said as he held a clean cloth over Miyuki's wounded arm. He waited for a reply and received none. He decided to clean him now. He mentally thanked God because the cuts had stopped bleeding already so cleaning them was a bit easier but not less painful.

The silence in the room remained as the pitcher continue to fix his friend.

"There you go! You are good as new, Kazuya." Eijun exclaimed happily, his eyes on the other.

Somewhere deep inside of Kazuya, he wanted to believe the words the other spoken. But seeing and knowing the thing he did a few minutes ago made him think otherwise.

A hand caressed his cheek, his dull eyes behind his glasses refocused on the boy in his room.

He wanted to smile to his pitcher to assure -deceive him that he was fine now. Lying was easier than to explain why he was feeling like a crap right now. But right now, smiling was impossible because when he's like this nothing can make him smile. As if he was like a doll with no facial expression.

How can a kind hearted person like Eijun able to stand him and help him anytime he fell into his darkest times? Maybe, that's what kind hearted people do in their free time. They always like to help people like him. Aren't Eijun getting tired of fixing him?

"You know I'm always here for you if you need me". The shorter one said in a soft voice, pulling off Kazuya's glasses from his nose and placed them on the coffee table next to the bed. He lay on the bed with him, making sure to make them both comfortable. To make Miyuki feel at ease was his top priority at the moment. He pulled over the blanket over the both of them.

Something snapped in Kazuya's mind and he became fully aware of his surroundings. The clean bandage wrapped neatly around his arm. Why was he showing his disgusting side to the pure teen? The other didn't deserved to see such a thing. Kazuya doesn't want to paint Eijun's innocence into crimson color.

A frustrated laugh escaped his lips.

What was he thinking? It's too late to think about that because he already tainted the poor boy the moment he let the other into his dark little secret.

What a horrible person he was.

The pitcher's encouraging words didn't not affect him the way it supposed to be instead it has a negative affect on him. It threw Miyuki's mind into chaos the moment those words slipped from his friend's mouth.

He doesn't want to burden the other with his problem. He doesn't want the other to feel sad for him. He doesn't need anyone's help because he's fine. He was Miyuki Kazuya, the catcher and clean-up batter of the team, the perfect student and the captain. No one would think how broken he was.

"Why?" Kazuya asked wearily, his hand on Eijun's chest lightly pushing the other. He could feel that the cuts starting to hurt now under the bandage that Eijun had wrapped around his arm.

Before the younger one could answer, he interrupted him again, "I'm broken and a messed. I don't need any of your pity, Sawamura."

"But Kazuya I'm n-," he glared the pitcher.

"Sawamura, get out." Miyuki stated calmly.

"You don't really mean it. I won't leave you as long as you are like this."

"I said, get out!"

"No, I-I won't. Calm down." The freshman raised his hand to reach the other only to only get slapped by him.

"I don't need you so get out! Don't you understand me? Are you too stupid to understand me?" His face darkened as his honey brown eyes glared the other, hands curled into a tight fist.

Sawamura's eyes widened at him. He realized that the only thing that can make Miyuki to calm down was to leave him alone but he didn't want to risk leaving him. But looks like whether he didn't want to leave yet Miyuki already decided to kick him out by grabbing the collar of his shirt and dragging him out the room. He fell on his butt as the other slammed the door loudly.

The pitcher just let his tears to fall down his eyes. He failed Kazuya again. He failed to help someone very important to him. He wanted to help him to stop hurting himself because he knew the catcher was very kind person and didn't deserved to be sad. Seeing those cuts and blood near Kazuya earlier made him a bit dizzy and weak. He tried his best not to react while with the other but now he was all alone, he can't help but to let his fear swallow him whole. Because a part of him knew that if the catcher continued to that, there was high chance of complication…Kazuya could die from those wounds. And yet, Sawamura failed to help Miyuki.

He grabbed the wall for support, slowly and shakily he pulled himself up from the floor. A wave of dizziness hit him causing his surrounding to start spinning around. He slapped his hand over his mouth as he felt like the dinner he ate earlier wanted to resurface. His whole body started to tremble and couldn't catched his breath.

 _Shit…I need to reach my room._

Even with his terrible condition, the pitcher tried his best to go back to his room without alerting any of his teammates.

* * *

Kuromochi was busy playing with his video games when the door clicked open. He was sure the door was locked earlier when his roommate left the room. He was positive the person who opened the door now was none other than Sawamura who had the spare key for their room.

"Sawamoron, you are back early." Kuromochi put his game on hold to look up at his teammate only to see something he didn't expect. He quickly dropped the controller he was holding and rushed towards the younger one.

"Hello, Kuramochi-senpai..." Sawamura greeted the other with a pained face.

"Oi, what's wrong with you?" Kuramochi observed his kohai with eyes like a hawk.

Sawamura was trembling, the way he breathes was shallow and fast as if he ran a marathon, and he was sweating so much as well. He was also covered with dirt and _was that dried blood on his stomach?_

"Senpai…I c-can't breathe…" He clutched tightly the fabric over his heart, tears sliding down his pale face.

Kuramochi's eyes immediately shot at the small box on the study table of the younger one. He made sure to guide him on a chair before dashing quickly toward the said box and pulled out a white medicine bottle and grabbed the bottle water next to it. _Damn it. Why now?!_

His hands were trembling as he uncapped the bottled water. "Drink this." He ordered, helping the other to swallow the medicine he offered. Rubbing circles on his kohai's back to comfort him.

He shut his eyes tightly and prayed.

 _Please, just take effect already. It's painful to see him having these attacks. It's been a long time since his last attack…why now?_

* * *

TBC?  
Please, I want to know if what everyone's reaction about the first chapter.  
Review helps me to know whether people likes this or not.


	2. Chapter 2

"The past can't hurt you anymore, not unless you let it." Kazuya's voice was little more than a murmur.

He checked his room to make sure nothing was out of place. He didn't want anyone to question him about what he did in this room last night. So far, nothing was out of place except for that one box on the foot of his bed. Come to think of it, this box always there to save him. With the help of this box, he could able to clean and hide his cuts. This box also one of the reason why he was not afraid to do it over and over again. That box was there for a reason and he will not going to waste the use of it. It never crossed his mind that last night someone was there for him too. A part of him chose to forget that a person was always there for him because it's easier to talk to him that way when they meet. Kazuya won't feel guilty or awkward when talking to that person.

Kazuya pushed the first aid box under his bed with his foot. He slung his bag over his shoulder as he made his way out of his room. The familiar warm rays from the morning sun met his skin. He looked silently at the cerulean blue sky that had a few fluffy white clouds that stray freely in the broad space of the sky. The sun was already so high in the sky, brightening the whole place with its hot rays.

Yesterday's gone.

A new day for him to do what he wanted.

It's time to start his daily practice by teasing some people. Lips curled into fake smile that can fool everyone as long as he remembers.

The catcher had noticed a few things as he made his way down the stairs. He noticed the whole place was oddly quiet and no baseball players could be seen. The doors were all closed as he passed each doors. Somehow, this scenery was a bit refreshing.

As he made out at the courtyard, the first string baseball field was coming into view. His lips curled into a tiny smile. He loved baseball so much.

One of the first years named Kanemaru stopped next to him as Kazuya placed his bag on the bench in the dugout.

"Have you seen Sawamura, Miyuki-senpai?" The dirty wheat blond asked, somehow, his eyebrows was knitted together into a frown.

Miyuki shook his head, readjusting his Seido hat on his head. He was going to ask why the first year was asking him about the southpaw when the other suddenly bowed and left him while grumbling about not going to help the southpaw on his English homework.

He shrugged, eyes shoot to the direction of the bullpen. He could see a lone figure behind the net. He wondered why no one was pitching there; it passed six in the morning already yet only a few players can be seen around the place. He decided to check out that mystery person after he put his gears at place.

He raised an eyebrow when he was met with the monster rookie holding a baseball on his pitching hand.

"Want me to catch your balls, Monster Rookie?" The catcher smirked as he could imagine what will be the answer of the pitcher. He was sure Furuya won't hesitate to accept his offer. It was very rare for him to volunteer to catch for someone outside of his obligation. If he didn't really need to catch for someone he would not volunteer.

Furuya stared at him blankly, hands around the ball visibly tightened. Miyuki noticed this as well.

The reaction Kazuya had received from the pitcher bemused him a bit.

"Are you just going to stand there like a statue, Miyuki-senpai?"

"Oh- Looks who is the impatient one now." Miyuki shook his head and pulled his head gear over his face. He walked towards the direction of the catcher box and squatted down.

"Give me your best pitch." The catcher's lips parted to a sly grin.

Almost fifteen minutes had passed when Kazuya suddenly produced a long, deep, audible breath. He stood up to catch another wild ball, "Furuya".

Satoru was readying to catch the ball when his name was spoken by him. He only stared at his catcher to let the other know that he was listening.

"Your control is no where to be seen today. Try your best to throw it at the strike zone." Kazuya squatted down again to position himself to catch, signaling for the younger one to throw a fastball only to receive another off-course pitch.

"It's clear something is in your mind today. You better run around the field to cool off, Furuya."

"Are you not going to catch for him, Miyuki-senpai?"

Kazuya knew who the person Furuya was talking about was. Something was not right at this pitcher if he didn't complain about him making him to run and now, he was asking about his rival. Instead of answering, the catcher remained silent and stared straight back at Furuya's eyes.

Another catcher came, interrupting the staring contest between the two.

"Furuya, I was searching for you. Let's go. The coach wants to talk to you." Ono grabbed the wrist of Furuya and lead him towards the gate after acknowledging Miyuki's presence.

The regular catcher sighed as peeled off the rest of his gears.

Today was definitely weird for him. Weird in a way that Furuya was too quiet and tense and also he didn't see some faces.

The catcher decided to eat breakfast at the cafeteria before the line get so long. He didn't like his homeroom teacher to scold him for his tardiness. Once he finished his food he slipped out of the dining hall to change from his baseball uniform to his school uniform. He arrived at their classroom early with fifteen minutes to spare. He glanced at the empty seat in front of him then sighed. He felt bored but Yoichi haven't arrived yet, teasing the shortstop was always entertaining for him because his fellow team mate knew how to react in a very funny way.

He would wait for Yoichi to arrive. Until then, he had to make sure he won't die from boredom.

But to his chagrined…

Morning classes ended, lunch break ended and afternoon classes ended but Yoichi didn't arrived.

His day was officially ruined.

He gathered his belongings and quickly left the classroom.

Miyuki chose to practice his batting. Nori was going to pitch for him but this time he would bat it not catch.

As he readied himself to bat, his mind couldn't help but to remind him on why his mood was terrible. Where the hell Yoichi was? Kazuya even tried to visit him but the green haired shortstop was not around, he knew from experience that his classmate won't skip classes without any plausible reason.

He was too busy to notice that two balls already passed while he was having an internal monologue.

"Miyuki-senpai?"

Another ball passed, almost hitting him on the chest.

"…Miyuki-senpai?"

A hand had touched his shoulder.

"M-miyuki-senpai?!"

A sudden loud sound from behind startled him, dropping his bat at the process.

"I-I'm sorry, but you were so quiet that you're making Nori-senpai worried." The younger Kominato bowed for his rudeness for screaming at his upperclassman a few seconds before.

The bespectacled second year turned his head at his fellow second year pitcher and truthfully, Nori was a bit pale and wide eyed.

"Sorry, Nori." Miyuki grinned sheepishly. He didn't want them to question him any further. Not now. What's wrong with him today? Normally, tiny things didn't affect his mood easily but today was different.

"Have you seen Eijun-kun, Miyuki-senpai?" Haruichi's small voice interrupted him once again. The first year felt nervous the moment his question slipped out his mouth. Somehow, his mind was telling him that his upperclassman won't answer him.

What's with people keep bothering Kazuya today because of a certain brunet pitcher? Last time he checked, Eijun doesn't need anyone to babysit him. For God's sake, the southpaw was already a highschool student. Kazuya and Eijun were not even close—to be honest, even Kazuya wasn't sure himself if what was their relationship. It made him frustrated not to know where Eijun was right now. Like he care about him but being asked many times about the whereabouts of the southpaw and he didn't have any answer made his mood turn towards the danger zone. Come to think of it since morning, the first year pitcher never approached him.

Wait a minute. Eijun never approached him to beg the catcher to catch his pitch earlier.

Don't tell me.

Yoichi was with Eijun the whole day.

Assuming that the brunet was also absent as well.

Why would those two be together the whole freaking day?

The way the catcher reacted gave Haruichi a good idea so he didn't pursue his question anymore because he did want his day to end well.

"Give me you best pitch, Nori", Kazuya challenged his fellow second year. Unknown to him, black dangerous aura was slowly leaking out from him.

Nori nodded shakily and pitched a sinker. His control and height was good but somehow, the pitcher paled as the sound of bat hitting the sweet spot of the ball resounded in the whole field. The impact of it sent the ball over the fence. Ah. It's gone.

All the other players seemed frightened and bewildered at their captain hitting a homerun.

The pitcher threw another ball and it went over the fence again joining the first ball.

Nori pitched five more but Kazuya managed to send them all over the fence.

"Let me pitch at Miyuki-senpai, Nori-senpai". A hand held him at the wrist, looking up at the person who saved him from pitching at their moody captain. It was none other their monster rookie. Nori sighed in relief.

Other players had stopped to do their practice to witness Furuya pitching against their captain.

Furuya pitched a fastball at his upperclassman. He chose not to hold back.

But, Miyuki managed to hit it too, sending it to the other part of the fence.

They all wondered who pissed off the captain. Some of them wished that they weren't the one who set their captain in such a scary mood.

This scene continued until a familiar annoying laughter echoed around the field.

"Hyaha! What the hell are you doing, Miyuki." Kuramochi was standing at the gate entree of the baseball field. He was wearing a yellow hoodie, sneakers and pants, his hands stuck in the pant's pockets.

Somehow, Kazuya's free hand rested on the sleeve where the concealed bandages were messily covering his sins.

* * *

Thank you for the reviews from the previous chapter! :D  
Sorry in advance for my grammar and mistakes.

Please, don't be afraid to correct my mistakes and leave a review!


	3. Chapter 3

Kazuya's hazel brownish eyes narrowed at the shortstop's smirking lips, his feet taking steps to close the gap between the two. "You won't get away from skipping practice today, Kuramochi."

"You miss me? Are you gonna make me run until I drop dead?" Kuramochi titled his head to the side, feigning his curiosity.

"Is that a challenge, vice captain?" Miyuki's face darkened with glee. No way was he going to let the other do what he wanted to do. Kuramochi needs to learn his lesson and Miyuki won't hesitate to help him learn it.

"Really, Miyuki? You looked pissed today that everyone could read you like an open book". The green haired held his stomach and snickered, pointing his finger at the general direction of the field where some players were fearfully listening at their conversation.

"Atleast I'm not s—".

"Kuramochi-kun how's the trip with Chris-kun and Sawamura-kun?" A much softer voice joined their heated conversation.

Only the two of them heard the voice.

Kuramochi's mischievous face suddenly faltered a little, he looked more like something heavy has been lifted of his chest. "Rei-san, everything went good as usual".

Kazuya furrowed his eyebrows, confused at the conversation being held in front of him. He was correct that Eijun and Youichi were together the whole day but on why Chris with them. He didn't have any idea. Youichi's relieved expression was also something that made the catcher confused. Something happened between the three and none of them told Kazuya about it even he was the team captain. He had the right to know since the three were technically part of the Seido baseball team even Chris already retired.

"Do you mind letting me in your little chit chat, Rei-chan?" Takashima chuckled and readjusted her glasses on her nose.

"I asked them to help Chris-kun to go to Shibuya. Do you have any particular reason why you want to know?" Her tone was smart but at the same time guarded.

* * *

(Earlier in the morning)

It was clear as tamed crystal in Youichi's memory of what happened the night before.

Yesterday night was when Eijun scared the hell out of his upperclassman when he arrived at their dorm room with him having one of those attacks.

Youichi almost by instinct help his friend. He couldn't think straight at first as he looked around their shared room for something that could help him and Eijun. Good things he remembered that the younger one had still his stock of medication for emergencies like this.

After he carefully helped the younger one to swallow the pill and sipped from the bottled water. He wrapped his arms around the smaller frame while whispering words that could calm the trembling body in his arms.

Youichi shut his eyes tightly, his ears refused to block the painful gasp and whimpering coming from his underclassman. He knew Sawamura couldn't hear him clearly because of his state. He didn't know what to do. He was powerless. Sawamura was like a brother to him and yet he couldn't help him. What a useless older brother he was. He failed him, his baby brother, Sawamura Eijun.

"Please take effect soon." The older one whispered to no one. His voice was oddly calm and fragile far from his usual voice.

He held him in his arms for almost half an hour before the trembling boy became limb. Gasps, pants and whimpers turned into a steady breathe ins and breathe outs. The medication made Eijun sleepy and also he was exhausted from crying so much. Sawamura fell asleep from the attack. The shortstop only sighed in relief.

02:18AM, the bright digital clock on his phone blinked back at him causing his vision to black out for a split second. Kuramochi rubbed the back of his palm on his tired eyes. He could use a few minutes of sleep before the sunrise.

But before the sun even peek from behind the horizon; a noise interrupted the green haired teen's slumber.

Kuramochi lifted his head from his folded arms. He chose to sleep at the chair to monitor the state of Sawamura. The last trace of sleepiness in his eyes had vanished when he didn't see the other laying on the bed but instead the younger teen was wide away while his back on the wall and arms hugging his knees. Sawamura looked so small in that postion. He almost looked like a child.

"Kuramochi-senpai?" Eijun's honey golden eyes shone even in the darkness but Kuramochi could see the distress behind those eyes. Eijun reached out his hand towards at his upperclassman.

Suddenly, another voice called his name.

"Kuramochi?"

The shortstop ignored the familiar low voice.

"Kuramochi?"

He reached out his hand as well to grab Eijun's waiting hand but instead a bigger firmer hand wrapped around his wrist and suddenly their dorm room changed into somewhere else. Milk cream colored walls turn into pure white, floor full of different things from baseball related equipment to dirty clothes turned into a clean tiled floor. The bunk bed turned into single bed with white bed cover and a piece of pillow. Sawamura was sleeping soundly at the said bed. Kuramochi turned his head at the owner of the hand. His eyes met the hard stare of his upper classman named Chris.

"Sorry." Kuramochi bowed his head a little, rubbing his neck sheepishly.

The doctor coughed to gain their attention. "Like I said before I'll going to change his medication since it takes a bit longer for it to take effect."

"What triggers Sawamura?" Chris looked at the sleeping pitcher under the blanket.

Kuramochi opened his mouth to say that they have to ask his dorm mate about it but the doctor beat him to it. "Don't ask Sawamura-kun. It might trigger him again. Observing his action would be much appreciated than to confront him personally. "

"He left the room in good piece but after a few hours he became like that. I don't understand. "

"His doctor from Nagano already told me about Sawamura-kun's condition. His coping mechanism is playing baseball. He only joined baseball to cure his problem and I don't think any reason for him to stop. "

The two teens sighed in defeat. They couldn't get any clue about what or who triggered the pitcher. They wanted to make sure that none of them would cause their younger friend to have an anxiety attack.

"For the mean time let him takes a rest. He looked bad when you bring him earlier". The doctor smiled a bit then pointed at the second year teen, "you two. Take a rest a long as you can".

* * *

After lunch, exactly at 01:18 PM, Eijun finally woke up. He was exactly like his loud cheerful usual self and it amazed his teammates. Nothing could remind them how badly Eijun before they took him here.

The doctor wanted to talk to him privately. So Kuramochi and Chris decided to walk out of the clinic for a few minutes. Their feet took them to the nearest vending machine to get their chosen drinks.

When they came back, Eijun just grinned at them and nothing else.

They didn't know what conversation has been made between the two. They were curious. They could ask Eijun. But in the end, they realized what the point was? As long it could help their youngest one, they didn't have any complain. Eijun would tell them when he was ready.

* * *

Chris made his two underclassmen to take a rest at the clinic since the after lunch classes had already started. It would pointless to try to catch up. He also informed Rei about the check-up they did to his favorite pitcher.

Everything went well except they didn't find out what or who made Eijun like that.

* * *

"Its time to clean yourselves before dinner!" Miyuki clapped his hands together to gather everyone's attention. "You know the cafeteria's staffs take tabs of what we eat so better to move fast."

Miyuki lower his voice, his sports glasses glinting, "it's not like I care about other people's business. Being a captain is just an empty position for some people but since coach gave me this. I want to atleast do it right. But, if your personal life is getting in the way of your gameplay expect me to interfere." With that, the captain raised his arms and folded them behind his head, walking away nonchalantly.

Kuramochi sighed and Rei shook her head.

* * *

"I will go out for a few minutes, senpai." Eijun pulled over his sweatshirt and slipped his shoes on.

"Are you shitting with me, Sawamoron?" Kuramochi raised his hand over the southpaw's head. Eijun winced, expecting the painful smack hold that the green haired liked to do on him. Kuramochi sighed; his hand landed the soft hair of Eijun, massaging it gently.

"I'm not fragile like glass. I'm strong as rock you know." Eijun tried once more.

"Are you really want me to die of worrying?" Kuramochi let go of his hair and went to sit on his chair to resume his study. He needed to catch up for the lessons he missed today.

"I hate this." The younger one lay down his bed, blanket covering him except his hand and head. He placed his laptop on side of him to surf the internet. He played a few OST from his favorite sports series and humming with it. He made himself comfortable on his bed.

For the first time in a while, Kuramochi didn't mind the noise Sawamura makes.

* * *

Knock. Knock. Knock.

"Is Sawamura there?" Kuramochi scowled at the voice behind the closed, his lips drawn into a tight line.

Knock. Knock. Loud knock. Loud knock.

"What the freaking twisted Miyuki doing here?" He hissed, throwing his blanket to the floor. He was going to sleep when the four eyed brunet decided to bang on their door, disturbing the occupants of room five.

He twisted the doorknob impatiently then opened the door halfway without creating too much noise.

"Do you know what the time right now? Its light out soon so fuck off and go to sleep". The green haired teen tried not to punch the cocky brunet in front of him.

"I want to play catch with Sawamoron." Miyuki grinned, showing his mitt.

"Nah, he's out of commission so sleep now, Miyuki." Kuramochi stepped back to slam the door shut but Miyuki saw it coming and put his foot between the door and the door frame. Kuramochi winced at that action.

"Tell him first because I know he would like to grab any chance just to be with me." The catcher smirked, placing his other hand on his waist.

"If I were you I wouldn't be proud of yourself". Kuramochi pulled open the door enough to let the catcher see the lower bunk where Sawamura's bed was.

Miyuki thought, _'I know'._

Miyuki peeked in and saw that Sawamura wasn't available right now. "Hey Sawa—"

"Are you an idiot!? He's sleeping already besides after what we did in the city made him tired". Kuramochi cut him as to avoid the catcher waking up his underclassman. "So leave him alone". He closed the door again but this time nothing interrupted him.

* * *

Miyuki was left all alone in the dark deserted hallway.

* * *

Unknown to Kuramochi, Sawamura heard the whole exchanged between the two second years.

* * *

Kazuya pulled his phone to check the email he received earlier while he was talking to the shortstop.

 _"You know I'm busy, Kazuya." —Dad_

It wasn't like he did expect his father to watch a scrimmage. But he couldn't help but to invite him once in a while.

"The senpai would graduate soon. I can't do this anymore. I don't know how to lead the team without their guidance". He muttered under his breath, "The new first years would arrive a few weeks from now".

Even the seniors already retired at the end of the summer, they helped Kazuya and the new team to build the foundation. Once they officially leave the Seido, no one could tell if they could visit regularly.

Then, there was Sawamura. He felt that something was happening yet he didn't have any idea. No one trusts him enough to tell him.

* * *

Another morning came and everyone was eating their breakfast in the cafeteria, everyone, all except their captain.

Said captain was in his room, holding the familiar object between fingers. He bit his lower lips, stifling his scream. He pushed the cold object on his skin then running it on different direction, creating new different lines.

 _'You do like this Kazuya so don't fucking complain. '_

He hurriedly cleans it with wet towel, hissing as the rough texture of towel touch the different fresh lines gracing his lower arm. He wrapped clean bandages around it and pulled on his undershirt, his white long sleeve, necktie then his school uniform coat. All done.

Morning classes past in a blink of eyes for Kazuya, he kept nodding off every few minutes but good thing the teacher wasn't paying attention. So far, everything was pretty boring and he needed some entertainment.

"You looked like a crap". Kuramochi criticized his captain.

"You finally decided to attend classes ah?" Miyuki smirked, propping his chin on his palm. "Are you not going to have fun with Sawamoron and Chris-senpai?"

The catcher eyed the shortstop lazily but the other only kept silent.

Kuramochi was busy looking at somewhere else. His eyes were directed on one place and that was the hand propping Kazuya's chin. _Was that a bandage? Why would Kazuya have those? Rei didn't tell me about this guy getting injured. Could it be that Kazuya was...? No, that's impossible. He won't resort on doing that. Or would he?_

"Let's watch movie later with the others in your room since its Friday already". The shorter of the two added.

"I don't mind. My room is practically the tourist spot at night". The bespectacled teen laughed, casually scratching the fabric over his lower arm with his other hand.

Kuramochi chose not to confront the other since it wouldn't end prettily if he questioned the brunet in the classroom.

* * *

"Eijun-kun, how are you?" The pinkette and best friend of Sawamura, Haruichi stood beside Eijun's table. They were in the classroom and waiting for their teacher to arrive to give Eijun his home works and to discuss a few things regarding about 'it'.

* * *

"Miyuki-senpai". Kazuya stopped on his track, turning around to see the source of his frustration since yesterday in the form of Sawamura Eijun.

"Oh, are you here to ask me to catch your pitch _?" 'Not Kazuya ah? '_ Miyuki' _s_ lips turned into one of his shit eating grin that everyone recognize.

"Maybe later, you see. Boss asked me to tell you that he, Rei-chan, sergeant and Oota-sensei would attend a meeting in Osaka and they will be back at Monday night". Sawamura watched his senpai from where he was standing. The distance between the two was a bit wide, making it hard for him to extend his hand and touch the other. He wanted to reach the other. He wanted to hold him in his arms and tell him everything will go to be fine. But in reality that's not so simple.

Sawamura used to read those fairytale stories that they had in their tiny library back in the elementary school. About happy endings, princess and prince charming live happily ever after. Everything was so simple in those stories maybe because fairytales were the childish desire of people. That part of them wanted to cling on that tiny string of hope that everything will be okay in the end. People in the fairytale got their happy ending once the princess and his love interest became officially wife and husband. But why do people decide that that it's okay to claim that these married couple got their happy ending already?

He came to this conclusion that once they achieved their 'happy ending' it symbolizes that everyone has to face the harsh reality again.

Happy Ending for him means 'stop that, time to face the reality'.

"Sawamura? You looked like you wanted to use the toilet. "

"What the—I'm not! I was just looking for you since yesterday but I can't find you". Sawamura diverted his eyes from the catcher.

"Looking for me? Are you okay? You don't usually admit things like that." Miyuki grinned, crossing his arms over his chest.

Sawamura stared at him puzzled at his question, "Are YOU okay, Miyuki Kazuya?"

"Idiot, just choose one."

"Miyuki."

Miyuki had hoped that the younger one would choose his first name. The other never failed to amaze him but sometimes that amazingness hurts Kazuya.

* * *

That's the end of chapter 3! Thank you for reading! Don't hesitate to leave review!


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